When talking to humans sometimes, it seems like there is an invisible string they feel to their life routines - as if we’ve forgotten the power of our own choice and rulemaking. Not everything has to go the same way every day forever - or at least till the day we die and this might be actually sooner than we think.
So..many envision something about the future to be the way they imagine life to be more fulfilling. Their eyes get a dreamy look and then something snaps and they’re back here and say: “But..it’s difficult…it’s challenging…it’s just not possible…I don’t have enough money…”
And the list goes on. I get it. It ain’t easy to bend our minds. The thing is - what if this isn’t another forever choice? What if it is for now? And how can you break down that crazy vision that seems unimaginable to grasp for your rational mind - break it down into small pieces that you can experience right now at this moment.
I will now tell you a little story and maybe this is part of my heart journey story I’ve started you telling over here - but any way…listen…this is what I’ve posted yesterday on my personal Instagram (if you have read it, remember it and scroll down):
“I am not a big fan of posting on my personal account just for the sake of posting. This has to come naturally and be straight from my heart - might be against all rules of social media but in the end you make the rules for yourself.
Creation is a remedy. Next to walking. Which can increase creativity and the feeling of flow where something seemed stuck.
Without creation, life would be weird for me. Passion for purpose.
The beginning of January was hard. All felt dull, I lacked my more usual inspiration and motivation. It wasn't a lack of clarity - just hope was missing. Faith. A glimmer of light. Why wake up? Why move on?
I did not push myself to get out of it - it just clicked as I observed my self-pity and anger. Yeah, I felt pissed that the government is barely paying me anything and not allowing me to work the way I am used. Not sure if everyone knows here but I am 100% self-employed and had to find ways to make things work - as this was the only option next to looking for employment somewhere - but honestly I checked and realized this is not what I want, I love my job. I've created this job for myself because out there was nothing fitting my imagination and temperament 100%. And as it clicked, I focussed on creating and it seems to be working. It's expanding my mind on what is possible and what not.
Soon a new creation will be launched and I'll tell you how I've created @naked_chocolate_ with less than 100 USD probably in 2019 and even without the vision for this to become an ethical business. By no means anywhere close to "arrived" nor really believing in this concept as all is in a flow of constant creation and deconstruction. You can make things work - with good humans around you and willingness to go beyond what you know. So here I am creating and if you wanna create or have a spark for something - start for the sake of creating or solving an issue you've wished someone would solve.
People think to create something they need a ton, whereas you just need to start with the inner and outer resources that you have and then have the stamina to keep going with the ebbs and flows of life and adapt, remembering your why. ✨
Grateful. Trusting. 💕”
In March 2014 I came back from my first long journey - before that, I’ve quit my matura studies and decided that I will not study journalism nor work in fashion. I was not quite sure what exactly I want but I knew no office and more freedom, responsibility, and creativity. Not that age is important BUT in the Swiss labor market it is - I was 20 back then. I went to Panama, Costa Rica, and Brasil. I’ve worked in some really weird jobs the months before that, started an internship, stopped it for a really stupid reason but back then this was an important piece AND I was with a guy that was addicted to cocaine and sex. So very difficult. Very attached in a way and very much not.
But anyway, I came back home after 3,5 months of traveling and I wanted more. I told my newly made friend Vera that I could leave for a year…maybe longer…. This was already my childhood dream: a trip around the world. And writing a book.
So when I came back, I and my then-boyfriend thought of “re-starting” our very much unhealthy relationship till I landed again with a bladder infection in bead and finding one single long black hair of another woman in his bathroom - again.
I packed my bags and left. I didn’t even wanna register for unemployment status - I’ve actually never been on one. Or wait, maybe once for 2 weeks and I hated it because they made me not only look for jobs that did not fit my skills but also for sure killed my spirit - but that’s another story for another day.
Then I found through them a job in the marketing department for power tools at a big Swiss corporate - every day I was sitting in that office, with a grumpy secretary in front of me that hated life and on me, I’ve typed some numbers into a excel list for their online shop (yeah back in 2014 online shops were not yet the norm LOL) and I’ve looked out of the window, seeing the Limmat (our Zurich local river) and people floating in it all summer. This was June 2014.
I dreamed of being one of these people down there. Swimming during the day, in the sun. Not just before 8 am or after 5 pm. I dreamed of a job where I can be creative and feel free. People would say that job does not exist. Well, I found it and a month later already quit this job and got a job for Yelp Switzerland.
I traveled for business to Dublin, Amsterdam, Vienna, and San Francisco. I’ve had a ton of responsibility and also sadly burned myself out. But I was testing restaurants, writing daily, growing a local community, collaborating with local businesses, and organizing events. I committed internally for a year and this is also how long I’ve stayed. No one thought this job is well-paid but damn I earned more money than that I would in an office job at that age AND I had a lot of food expenses in the nicest cafes and restaurants. LOL. I enjoyed it. Also, I got the job amongst way more experienced people that have studied communication, marketing and…. BUT I R E A L L Y wanted it.
Fast-forward: I quit in August 2015 and left in October with a one-way ticket to Bali, only knowing that I will be in March 2016 in Costa Rica for my first Yoga Teacher Training.
Is it possible or is it not possible depends of course on some life circumstances and some ideas have to be adapted to your life - like if you have a family, there is stuff you might not want to do because your priorities shift. But honestly, even there you can find ways to make your life the way you like it and not depending on someone else to accept it, like it, or approve of it.
So when I was sitting in June 2014 at that office, after one week I realized I can’t do this job for another 7 months (was a temporary job), I visualized myself in another job. That job that seemingly did not seem to exist and it appeared immediately. I also visualized myself through the application process doing it already and getting it.
BUT BEFORE THAT, I realized that I have to ENJOY THE NOW and SEE THE BEAUTY ALREADY IN THIS BORING OFFICE JOB!
So I’ve started a daily ritual of gratitude instead of complaining, I would try to make it nicer and be more grateful for what I already have, and focus on creation. I focussed on my blog (back then fashion combined with positivity, yoga….I mean I’ve done Happy Monday Videos and you can still find them on YouTube :D).
This is where I’ll explain the title of this story:
Appreciate it, Accept it, Abandon it - or how to prioritize life Aleks style
Here comes an exercise and yes, please do it right now, will not take more than 10 minutes:
1.This means if you look at your life right now - make a list of your activities, write down your “general” schedule and PEOPLE IN LIFE you see regularly, and divide in what you like and do not like.
2. The “don’t like” list - which of the activities are necessary means not avoidable? Let me make an example: Having your mother-in-law coming over every day and you hating it is really not necessary. Unless this is the compromise to build your business. But if it is just to be polite and because this SHOULD be like this and that, well scratch it. Maybe less regular is ok too. Like once a year. LOL (side joke): But you get it, if it annoys you too much, look for a Plan B. Maybe someone else can water your plants or take care of your kids.
You might have to commute to your work every day for two hours because you really love the job. But maybe there are other options - like moving closer to your job or quitting it.
You might have to do your taxes - but maybe you don’t have to do them yourself.
So there are things we think we should do but we don’t and this is what you can apply:
3. When you look at the things you don’t like: Which things can you abandon? Means just fucking not do anymore or not engage with those people. LOL. And now you might think “but I can’t… blabla bla bla bla”. You make the rules.
4. Then there are things you don’t like but they are part of something and just a natural consequence OR you choose to change them in a way that is more enjoyable. And here comes committing to stop fucking complaining. Maybe if you ride a bicycle to your job you like the journey more. Maybe if you hike there you love it. It’s like MAKE A FUCKING CHOICE. And then ACCEPT IT. Accept what you don’t wanna change or can’t change and make it more enjoyable if you want.
5. If it is not needed and you don’t enjoy it: ABANDON it.
6. Check the things and humans you like - how often do you do this? Find ways to prioritize it and live it more. APPRECIATE IT. Give thanks. Gratitude is so good. Train yourself to be grateful. Might start rationally first but then you can also start feeling it. Gratitude is a heart opener.
Once your heart is open, you can listen more to its wisdom and make better choices. Better choices are choices that make you live more in alignment with the vision of your life.
This is it.
You’d love to do more of this?
I'm thinking of bringing back the Empowerment Workshop (scroll down for all the amazing feedback) and include ceremonial cacao in it. You want to be informed went the first gathering happens in March in nature around a bonfire? REPLY to this email and I'll let you know as soon as the new dates are released.
So friends…. I’m leaving you with some other news below and wish you an amazing week ahead,
PS. The ceremonies for March are planned on the 13th and 27th - I can’t tell you yet if they’ll happen at the studio or outside around a bonfire or not but if you’ve been missing our gatherings, please mark them in your calendar and save the dates. If I can have more than 4 people in one ceremony, they will most likely happen in the evening, if not, then there will be 2-3 ceremonies throughout the day from noon. Or book a private ceremony now for yourself or share with a loved one.