Is the purpose of life to be happy? Are YOU happy? I know how it feels to be unhappy. So, I don’t feel unhappy. Do I feel euphoric? Sometimes. Do I feel doubtful? Sometimes. Do I feel sad? Sometimes. Do I feel like I’m doing exactly what I’m supposed to be doing? Yes, very much. In December 2014 I set an intention - it was such a deep desire from inside - to be happy. To live a happy life. Well… How this looks might vary for all of us.
In my experience, there must be drawn a line between what youthink will make you happy, where you outsource your happiness and expect that something or someone will make you happy, what others expect from you and also social and biological forces that go hand in hand with the first example. Should happiness be the goal of life? A good friend of mine said - it’s less of a goal in life but part of life and goes hand in hand with doing what feels meaningful and purposeful to you. Purpose. A biggie to figure out - somehow no matter where you were born, there is always an idea of how life should be lived and look like. And it takes a lot of willpower to take yourself out of that river of expectactions and figure out what YOU a c t u a l l y want. Sometimes figuring out what you want starts with being very clear on what you don’t want. But even with desires and dislikes - can we stay open to life and feel all of it? Can we be open to all the experiences and create a base of trust, optimism, patience and courage? It’s an art to know when to stand still and when to start moving.
I like to ask myself these questions when in doubt: -Is my motivation fear-based? Am I more afraid to make it or not? -What is the most comfortable version of this scenario? -Am I trying to control? -What’s my fear? -And even if that fear-based scenario happens - what then? What’s the worst thing then that could actually happen? The thing is… Intuition is clear. Doubt is confusing. When you start getting confused, you might want to take some time off, go in nature, do the (yogic) practices that will help you clear the mind, ask for less opinions and just write or reflect on all that you are thinking inside you. Get it all out. All the desires, all the fears, all the contraindicating beliefs. It's not always helpful to make emotional choices but rather wait until you feel more in your body and out of trauma-fear-response. I already talked about this phenomena in my last newsletter that when I feel insecure, I reach out for advice and opinions on a topic because I am confused and want to get the clarity, security and truth from someone or something else. The thing is… It’s just going to be more confusing. Sometimes that’s exactly the experience we need to have. So we know for another time where being that confused my lead to destruction in life that would be crucial because you have to actually create.
So… Back to happiness. When you close your eyes: Where do you see yourself? With whom? Ho do you feel? It’s important to realize that the power to change your life is always available - but change can be very scary, especially if it touches on our fear of security: like changing/quitting jobs, moving countries/cities/appartements, breaking up, opening the heart to someone new, ... So feel into that fear. Get really to know the actual fear. What is the worry? What is the insecurity? What is it that you crave? And expect? And are fearful to NOT get? Or even...maybe get? So there are two options: 1. Be okay, with choosing to rather stay in something familiar even tho it doesn’t full-fill you instead of stepping out of your comfort zone and do what you need to do to change it. And maybe, you want to also check in with the addiction to blame, make excuses and complain. Being okay with our choices. 2. Start intentionally choosing something new. And this is a process. Sometimes it progresses faster, sometimes slower, sometimes clearer, sometimes very messy. The thing is - can you trust your intuition? Maybe not yet. But are you open to build that trust muscle? Trust is a muscle. Start with what you can right now. Each single step matters - no matter if small or giant. Because even a lot of small steps will turn into a bigger one.
We can’t rush this process because even with great things in life, we might not be able yet to fully receive them. So why do we have to shock our systems and why don’t we actually live? All choices that we make in life have consequences - some we’ll love, some really not. And yet, it can feel right, it can feel as if you’re exactly where you’re supposed to be. I feel the more I move towards what feels meaningful to me, the more I also attract meaningful interactions, activities, work opportunities and human connections in my life.
Meaningful isn’t always liking or disliking. Meaningful means it helps me to evolve, grow, connect deeper to my heart. And… Sometimes it means to grief and feel a lot of pain because you have to let go of people and things you kinda like but know it’s not serving you. That’s one of the consequences. But I’m always thinking that there are only two options: A. Follow my heart. B. Not follow my heart. ….and B is just not an option for me. My intention in life is to trust my intuition and heart’s wisdom so I can live in alignment with my inner flow. So… are you happy? What is the purpose of your life? How do you imagine your life? How do you want to feel in life? And are you ready to make a step towards that? What is it that you need to let go of so that there is space for that in your life? If the answer is yes, write down three simple things you can change from today until the end of next week and start doing them.