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Are you happy?

Is the purpose of life to be happy? Are YOU happy? I know how it feels to be unhappy. So, I don’t feel unhappy. Do I feel euphoric? Sometimes. Do I feel doubtful? Sometimes. Do I feel sad? Sometimes. Do I feel like I’m doing exactly what I’m supposed to be doing? Yes, very much. In December 2014 I set an intention - it was such a deep desire from inside - to be happy. To live a happy life. Well… How this looks might vary for all of us.

In my experience, there must be drawn a line between what youthink will make you happy, where you outsource your happiness and expect that something or someone will make you happy, what others expect from you and also social and biological forces that go hand in hand with the first example. Should happiness be the goal of life? A good friend of mine said - it’s less of a goal in life but part of life and goes hand in hand with doing what feels meaningful and purposeful to you. Purpose. A biggie to figure out - somehow no matter where you were born, there is always an idea of how life should be lived and look like. And it takes a lot of willpower to take yourself out of that river of expectactions and figure out what YOU a c t u a l l y want. Sometimes figuring out what you want starts with being very clear on what you don’t want. But even with desires and dislikes - can we stay open to life and feel all of it? Can we be open to all the experiences and create a base of trust, optimism, patience and courage? It’s an art to know when to stand still and when to start moving.

I like to ask myself these questions when in doubt: -Is my motivation fear-based? Am I more afraid to make it or not? -What is the most comfortable version of this scenario? -Am I trying to control? -What’s my fear? -And even if that fear-based scenario happens - what then? What’s the worst thing then that could actually happen? The thing is… Intuition is clear. Doubt is confusing. When you start getting confused, you might want to take some time off, go in nature, do the (yogic) practices that will help you clear the mind, ask for less opinions and just write or reflect on all that you are thinking inside you. Get it all out. All the desires, all the fears, all the contraindicating beliefs. It's not always helpful to make emotional choices but rather wait until you feel more in your body and out of trauma-fear-response.  I already talked about this phenomena in my last newsletter that when I feel insecure, I reach out for advice and opinions on a topic because I am confused and want to get the clarity, security and truth from someone or something else. The thing is… It’s just going to be more confusing. Sometimes that’s  exactly the experience we need to have. So we know for another time where being that confused my lead to destruction in life that would be crucial because you have to actually create.