How I realized that I want to go to a psychotherapist & how I feel after 5 weeks
Do you feel satisfied with your life? Happy? Enjoying it? Does it feel like you’re flowing?
Those are very simple questions that if answered honestly can gain lots of depth and insight.
Because only if you’re honest with yourself, you can also change and shift something inside you but also outside in your life.
I’ve been asking myself those questions quite a few times in my life and the last time was this summer.
Maybe you remember that I wrote a text a few months ago on the fact that when you’re surviving, you’re not asking yourself if you are happy. But when you pass that point, it’s time to ask again.
For me personally, this year has been quite intense and challenging as I had to deal with a lot of different constant challenges regarding my business and in-person events. Anyway, once this passed a bit and I felt like taking a deep breath and exhaling fully, I came to realize that the months of stress have taken a toll on me.
How I noticed that the stress took a toll on my system
-I was easily stressed and more impatient/compassionate/understanding (less capacity to take anything in)
-I did not feel excited about new amazing opportunities but overwhelmed
-Troubles to have quality sleep due to lots of vivid dreaming
-Tense jaw (and body in general) and frequent migraines/headaches
-Sluggishness, less motivation, and lightness than usual
-I simply did feel less happy and like life is mostly just burdens
-I’ve developed a histamine intolerance and lots of foods felt like hell to my body and one of the main issues of your gut flora changing and histamine intolerance developing is STRESS (oh wonder)
Well then one day I was like - WAIT A MOMENT!
This seems like not only a phase anymore. It seems like a constant thing and this is NOT how I want to spend my life.
I simply felt unhappy with those circumstances. And I wondered what it is because it's not that I don’t like my business and life in general. I do actually a lot and feel very passionate about it.
BUT NO ONE CAN PERFORM CONSTANTLY CREATIVELY UNDER LOTS OF PRESSURE, STRESS, AND HIGH EXPECTATIONS in times where everything shifts all few weeks and you’re dependant on the outside to some quite big degree that influences your life. So I knew it must be that and that I have not had the time to even digest it and release it from my system properly.
I am not sure why I thought a psychotherapist could help me,
but I felt that it needed to be something that is out of the yoga and wellness industry.
Don’t understand me wrong, my tools have truly helped me to manage the stressful long-term phases with lots of change and creative fast solutions on quick demand. BUT I needed a safe space where I can also release, talk, reflect and shift. And there are not many teachers that I feel safe with and those that are my teachers, are abroad.
The Process of Finding the Right Psychotherapist
Anyway, I asked my general doctor if I could go see a psychotherapist and she showed me this and this search platform in Switzerland and explained to me the difference between “delegierte Psychotherapie” (paid by health insurance if your Hausärtzin sends you) and “undelegierte Psychotherapie” (paid often by additional health insurance). When I asked her, I cried. It was such a big step. By the way, it is not unusual that one might also have to try different psychotherapists until they find the right fit.
I would have never said that it would be so difficult to ask so explicitly for extra support and my doctor was very kind, understanding, and supportive. I found a few psychotherapists that resonated and sent them an email and in the end, i picked the one that was available asap and felt right. I am very happy with my choice, she is amazing, fun, human, supportive, and helps me to see through situations and also ideas I have about myself, life, and humans. Especially when it comes to what is valid/invalid, normal/not normal, etc. Plus she has an Eastern European background which makes her understand certain patterns that occur in Balkan families.
Only 5 weeks into it, I can see a very big difference and feel super excited about new opportunities again and as if I have more energy and capacity to create. So, so, so good! I feel lighter and more myself. :) A great feeling. Also, I don't get so stressed easily. Excited about this new journey and ready to explore my inner landscapes.
Mental health is as important as physical health and life does not have to get really bad or us feel like totally rock bottom to get help.
This was actually a big intention for 2021 - to get any support I need for my scoliosis and general physical wellbeing and I did not only do extensive physiotherapy focussing on my scoliosis with Sarah but also go regularly to my osteopath Antonin that works true magic on me.
What also has helped me this year was a Human Design Reading with Inés Kelly, 2 deep kinesiology sessions with Rahel Papis and a very relaxing and soothing aromatherapy session with Deborah from Mama Universe.
Say hi to them from me if you choose to get a session. :)