I’d love to share a bit of my personal story that might inspire some of you to really do what they feel called to do.
2020 is over soon and of course it’s been a crazy year. For me personally many good things happen and I had many opportunities to stretch the possibility of what’s possible and what not. It’s three months since I’ve got my own permanent home and for the first time a homebase after 5 years of none. It feels good. It also feels weird at times and I miss the excitement of taking a flight to India and experience new adventures. The last time I’ve been at a airport was when I arrived in Switzerland on January 20th - I came spontaniously back from India to get this amazing creative space I’m writing you now from.
I find it quite amazing to see based on my own experience how powerful it is to set very clear intentions and follow your heart. Not everything has to make sense and wishes and desires are very much allowed to change.
Recently I got asked once again if things get easier as you follow your heart path and really do what you feel called to do and my answer was a NO.
Well it gets kinda easier to listen to your heart because rationally you remember it worked out the last time. But the thing is even though we follow our hearts, it doesn’t mean everything has to work out all the time the way we imagine. I think sometimes we’re not capable of imagining what could be as we look through some limiting lenses based on our experiences but also our upbringing and stories we hear. That’s why it’s good to be surrounded by people that do not only move in life from a space of fear.
Sadly a pandemic can highlight that fear is a possibility to choose. But we do have a choice. Look there is things we can do and things we can’t. I personally don’t put much energy in many of those fear-based concepts. The thing is you can’t fight fear with more fear, you just multiple it. But you can shift your focus to something you can do and that feels purposeful to you. I feel that’s a very productive and practical way to also stay connceted to your heart and the people around you.
Having something meaningful I can put my energy into and towards to really supported me this year a lot in being less crazy and bit more sane because it’s easy to keep freaking out. I feel though it’s our responsibility as humans to not just act by that.
A few years ago when I was living at Amma’s Ashram (Hindu Monastry in South India, Kerala) many of the people living there have been telling me about a New Year’s Speech Amma gave a few years back. That if the humanity continues to act and live the way we do and not choose to make better choices for ourselves and the environment, then well, we should be choosing wisely where we want to be in 2020 as we won’t be able to move easly and that it will already start in 2019.
I think it was the turn from 2017 to 2018 on New Years Eve when I sat at one of the rooftops of the ashram buildings and reflected on where I’d be then. It was difficult to imagine why even airplanes would stay on the ground (she said that!) but I tuned into it and somehow it was clear that I’d be going back to Zurich, Switzerland, so that I can doing the work that I am supposed to do. Even though I did not have an idea really what that work would be. It was just that community seemed very important and having tools to connect to ourselves and also learn new skills to cope with life in case really everything breaks down (like growing our own food!).
Anyway, I made a pact with myself. If I don’t know by my 27th birthday, what I should do with my life, I’ll come back to the ashram and stay for a full year, doing SEVA (selfless work) and live in a tiny humid room among 1-2 other women in an Indian village. And I really meant it. Well it was also when I promised myself that I will never go back to Bali again and then I remembered that I’ve booked a Yin Yoga Training with Nik Robson (www.yinculture.com). And this training and time in Bali broke my heart open.
I slept in a very simple and cheap place, rode a crappy too small mountain bike without working brakes, walked barefoot (bad idea if your breaks don’t work and the asphalt is hot!!!!!!!!!). I ate mostly very simple food and I cried every night. My heart just broke wide open and I knew I have to share these teachings with others. To create such safe spaces that people can connect to themselves and let their hearts break wide open.
Here a few first questions to reflect on before I share more with you in the 2nd part of this story:
1. What is it that you truly desire? Have you tried it out? If it's really that? Sometimes we think we might want something but then we try it out and we realise it's something old that we enjoyed but it's not what we want now.
For example I had studying and playing theatre for a long time as my dream but then I left and chose something else. Anyway one summer I decided to invest some money in a pre-course and see if that's where I need to be. And... I enjoyed it but it wasn't that. So I let it go even though I've invested some money in it. But finally after years I could get it off my mind.
Write down the perfect day that you imagine. No matter if it's "realistic" or not. Then explore some of the things to see if that's actually a thing for you.
2. What do you feel drawn to do? Maybe you're even already doing it? What is something you have to do even though it brings you out of your comfort zone?
Can you dare to jump and take the risk?
Trusting that this is the right thing because there is no option b when it comes to the heart path. We keep making stories in our minds but actually, write down what you can do right now. Yeah, start small and go step by step. The path will unfold. It's often better to have some vision and idea and not know everything because maybe if you'd know what you'll experience, you'd be too scared to even try?! We grow as we walk on the path of our hearts and every single scenario and encounter is important on that journey. So...go do it now.
3. What are your fears? What's the worst thing that could happen? Who are you talking to? What is the quality of your thoughts? What do you do to support yourself on all levels (mentally, physically, emotionally and energetically)? Allow yourself to feel and see these fears and explore limited beliefs. It's an interesting process and sometimes feeling and thinking it all can help to release it and you realise it ain't that bad or scary anymore.