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Staying Open When It's Hard

Updated: Jul 4, 2021

A life lived from the heart, a life in love, from love, with love is a moment by moment commitment - what are you committing to in your life?

I'll share now with you parts of a love letter that I've written on staying open when the heart melts open and fear kicks in. (Yes, you're right, it's very vulnerable to share!!!!!!!!!!!!)

Sometimes I wonder what's happening with us humans. How challenging it is to stay open even if we meet great humans in challenging times. When magic seems touchable and not a fantasy that keeps us going when it's hard. It's like our nervous systems are not used to more goodness or in constant "guard mode".

So once this beautiful energy hits us, all seem aligned because for a moment we step out of the guarded space and step into that space of constant creation & possibility. It's magical. It's like that perfect summer night. But what's the difference between all other nights? We had our hearts open and were in our bodies. Just here - not in the past nor the future. Not our minds.

Then.. we freak out and booom we're back into the space of conscious and subconscious calculations. The guard kicks back in. We start thinking and we close up. It's like an alarm system that goes on but instead of being protected we're trapped in our own misery and think now we're back in control but it's like you got the whole ocean to swim in and you choose the drop on your fingertip that you easily can dry away.

The ocean - so vast, full of mysteries, full of possibilities to drown and die. The heart! Ripped out! Broken!

Slowly, slowly decomposing on the grounds of the oceans - or maybe not, maybe somewhere opening, blooming, flourishing, and radiating. The rationale ain't bad ~ it's all part of our human experience and great to make friends with both parts and all parts ~ especially all the parts of ourselves. All those fragments that somehow do not fit and fight and we keep them away, thinking that will force peace - but how can peace be forced?

It's like forcing a flower to grow. I feel a bit sad and heavy this week. I wonder - can I share? Is it okay? Or is it again not matching a specific timeline? Can I say that I feel disappointed?

I feel if in these times we got the gifts of meeting people that we align and connect and deeply feel seen and all is magic we have to realize what a privilege this is - it's a gift. It's an invitation to stay open. To practice what we wished to receive and experience. Like actually meaning the words we express - being emotionally isn't less true because it doesn't fit our rationally constructed lives. It's part of the truth.

Every person we meet is a messenger. Every situation an opportunity to check-in. To connect within and simultaneously lose our minds. What does intensity mean? Like what's the opposite? A dull life? Hidden? Compressed? To fit in a drop whereas there is a whole ocean to explore?:))

It feels like there is nothing to rush in life and yet, what if we die tomorrow? Would it be satisfying?

"How to end this letter now?" I wonder - hmmm let's not end the message but keep the space open and send a song instead.

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